Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Chapter Titles

What do you think about chapter titles in fictional books??

Personally, I dislike them. It usually gives away what's coming next, and the whole point is to end the chapter with some sort of cliff-hanger or means of suspense (even if it's not an action/mystery genre, you still want there to be a sense of unknown).

I'm sure there are some people who use them as a means of foreshadowing; maybe they've found a way to do it while keeping the suspense. But I find it easier to go with just numbers, instead of titles.

Writing is so much easier when there is inspiration. But we don't always have the luxury of that. Sometimes, we have to write just to get the words out, just to keep writing. It's hard to keep the focus, though.

<3 Elizabeth Marie {or Em} <3

Monday, August 30, 2010

5 Things I Love/Am Thankful For :)

1. Hoodies

They are adorable and comfy. Find an over-sized one (guys sweatshirts work great) and snuggle into it on a cool evening. Ah...bliss :)


2. Music



Music is more than sound. It's a connection between the performer and the listener, and it's an intertwinement of words and melody. Okay, trying to describe music is like trying to describe what I feel when I look at the full moon when I'm sad - it's impossible, and trying just makes it worse.


3. Laptops

Portable, personal, and...uh...very lap-ish =)

4. Fans

They are a convenience that is positively priceless when you live in a house without A/C (and I do)! I am so very thankful for them...

5. Sugarrr <3



Sugar is sweet, sugar is nice, sugar is better when you put it on twice. (Ignore my random insertion of silly rhymes and strange poetry.) Anyway, sugar - though not healthy in the least - is a wonderful thing! EVERYTHING is better with a little sugar on it :)

This post is reminding me to feel thankful when I am currently in one of my "moods." I get a "weird feeling"; I just don't feel like myself, and I dislike myself, and I am strongly inclined to do stupid things that I regret the next day. And what's even more annoying is that "dying to myself" is just not going well. =/

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Revelation!!!

Have you ever had a revelation from God?? It's like suddenly turning on a light after sitting in a pitch-black room for hours. What was staring you in the face for weeks and months is clear to you in a few seconds.

And you just sit back and say, "Wow." (Or at least I do.)

Today, I had one of those. And let me tell you, it was awesome. The Holy Spirit got inside my head and just kept throwing one concept after another at me, and following it up with Bible passages. It was like I had to run to keep up.

In John chapter 3, Jesus talks about how we have to be "born again" (Nicodemus's reaction was like mine: "What are you talking about?"). Mark 8:34-38 speaks about how we have to "lose our lives for Christ to gain them" and if we try to gain our lives, we lose them (think it's confusing? I'll explain). And then there is Romans chapter six.

I looked up a lot of other references too (I'll list them at the end of this post), and they all just confirmed the whole message I've been getting these past months, all saying one word: surrender.

SURRENDER.

Surrender isn't easy. It means giving up. Losing. Saying you were wrong, or you can't do it on your own. But when you surrender to God, what you're given up is only what is fallible and perishing, and what you're gaining is what is eternal and everlasting and perfect.

The scales are tipped in our favor, don't you think? I mean, we surrender, and we get more than we had before. So what are we waiting for? Let's surrender!

Wait a minute. Back up. What are we surrendering?

Good question. We are surrendering ourselves. ALL of ourselves. I have to surrender every little dream and desire, every piece of myself, to Him. I have to die to myself.

We are crucified with Christ (or should be); Christ rose from the dead, so then after our death, we are resurrected with Him, too. It is only after the death - only after we have killed ourselves - that we can become "born again," living for Him and through Him.

So right now I'm going to go on a journey. A journey that absolutely leads to death. And I can't let anyone else kill me - it has to be me, and me alone. After this death (which I have a feeling is going to be slow and painful), God will accept my body (which is what the Bible calls "a living sacrifice") and will resurrect me from the dead.

I will no longer be a slave to sin. I will no longer live for me. I will be alive in Christ.

This figurative death makes sense in theory...but I'm still working on what action I need to take to achieve it. I made a list of "keys" that I think would be helpful for me to follow.

Keys:
1. Shut up (every time I open my mouth, it's usually to express MY opinion...so, I'm "deleting" myself, and shutting up)
2. Be still (the Bible says, "Be still and know that I am God." 'Nuff said.)
3. Know Him (and who He is)
4. Trust Him (with everything. It's not about me, so why should I be fearful of death or humiliation or anything else that I'm afraid of? I need to trust Him completely - surrender.)
5. Surrender (which is pretty much what I'm doing, but it still needs to be on the list lol)

Maybe it's not about an action, though; maybe it's about the opposite of an action. Like when you're actively not doing what you would normally do. For instance, keeping my mouth shut when I'd like to speak. I could be over-thinking this...

I'm quite aware that this may sound completely crazy. Which is why it's hard to post it on my blog (even though no one is reading it!). But even if I lose everything else, I will have gained Christ, and that is what matters. His glory is my passion. I want to be consumed by Him. And if that means alienating fellow bloggers, losing some of my life-long dreams, or suffering in any way, so be it. I am going to do it if I achieve Christ.

And if I achieve Christ, my life will not be wasted.

So pick up a glass and have a toast with me. "To death," I'll say. To death.

I'm still not sure how I'm to go about doing this. But I'm following God's lead. If you think of it, pray for me...


References: John 3 & 4:34, Mark 8:34-38, I Corinthians 7:32-35, Luke 14:33, I John 2:15-17, Colossians 2:20-3:4, Romans 6

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Spontanous! Woot!

Isn't "woot" a great word?? It's so small and basic and fun to say :)

The past two days, I have done spontaneous stuff - and I am so proud of myself! Don't give me a pat on the back, though; it might go to my head...Anywho, last night was our church Talent Show (they're lots of funnn). I sang some worship songs with our group, but I was also going to do a duet with my BFF. But a couple days before the show, I got sick, and I wasn't sure if I'd be well in time (which would be sad) - and we hadn't even practiced together for about a month!! So we canceled. Then we got to church, and we're like "What the heck? Let's just wing it!"

And we did :) and I was so glad that we did. It was fun and we did a great job.

The thing is, a couple weeks ago, I would have wimped out and procrastinated. I would never have done that. I'm changing :) And it's cool to watch.

Today, I did another *spontaneous* thing (haha). I made pasta! This is not a revelation - I have made pasta before. But I usually don't make food without being asked to. So, hey, I made myself some awesome fettuccine with zucchini (lol); I got the recipe off of Food Network, and I chose the "healthier" version (oil instead of butter, milk instead of heavy cream, and zucchini instead of meat). It was tasty and I was happy for having made it.

So high five peoples!!! I'm making history. Well...sort of :P

Bible verse of the day: "Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but ALIVE to God in Christ Jesus our Lord." _Romans 6:11_

Strangers

Most of us see strangers every day. They are the people who fill up the world, but they don't really connect to you. They're just there. Doing their jobs, going about their lives, operating in circles quite separate from your own.

But what happens when a stranger affects your life? What happens when an unknown person intrudes into your bubble and shocks you by popping it?

What if that kid on the bike got run over by a car right in front of your eyes?

What if the girl running the cash register (the one who, let's face it, gets judged by us all the time, when we don't even realize it) goes home and commits suicide?

When you know something about a stranger, does that change them? Are they no longer random people - do they become something else? Are people just random people until you know them?

(This is a post that I had saved in my drafts; I just never posted it. But I remember that I was really thinking about this: should people be strangers to us? We're all connected, all humans, all living on the same planet. Why should we feel so disconnected? Why do we have the attitude that "it's their problem - not mine"??)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Confession

I sincerely desire to break into the writing world, and I was - I am - hoping that this blog will be what does it for me. This is a rather good aspiration, I think; I just feel very chained to Time, time that I feel like I don't have.

The temptation to model this blog after thousands of others (make it full of fun, secular ideas, and me, me, me, all the time) so that I can become renowned in Blog-World, is a powerful and very seductive one. But if I succumb to that, if I choose the broad path, I will be losing the greatest secret to happiness there ever was or ever will be.

I will be losing my focus, my inspiration, and the one thing that truly holds me together at all times: God. Nothing can compare to Him. Nothing can separate me from His love.

I am afraid that bringing God into my writing and my blog(s) will hinder my progress and success in the world. I am afraid that I will offend some of you by mentioning Him.

But life really isn't about success. It's not about being on the New York Times Bestseller list (which would be simply amazing). It's not about being so loved and lauded that you're never lonely (which doesn't make you un-lonely anyway). And if you think about it, you'll know that this is true. Life isn't about those things.

Sometimes we have to take a stand. It can be a stand for anything - so long as you truly believe it, you can make that choice.

And I'm choosing. Right now.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek." _Romans 1:16_


P.S. I will now be signing my name as "Marie." It's not my real name (it's my middle name) but I kind of like it. So, hey, it's what I'm going for right now :) lol


<3 Marie <3

Triumphs!

Hurrah! I finally figured out the whole tabs and pages thing, and at last have some more info and interesting things on (or is it "in"?) my blog!!!

Excuse me while I go rejoice and eat some chocolate and dance in the gorgeous sunshine.

Er...scratch that. There are a few problems with the celebration plan: one, I'm supposed to be doing school right now (stupid laptop is distracting me - I won't let it happen again), two, I don't have any chocolate (*sigh*), and three, rejoicing in my blog will do no good since NO ONE IS EVEN LOOKING AT IT.

But you can't say I haven't tried :)

Trying counts for something, eh? "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Although, that can become a bit annoying.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I've got the sniffles...and the writing bug!

(Is there anyone besides me on this planet who has wondered how a nose can be "stuffed up," per se, and yet still be runny all the time? Quite a waste of trees, don't you think? No wonder my nose is getting sore...I've been wiping it with trees -_-)

There's something about being sick in the summer that feels so very, very wrong. Arguing with a stuffy/runny nose doesn't do much good, though (Me: "You shouldn't be bugging me right now, it isn't cold out!" My nose: "Your point is? Really, I should have to be ignored for the greater part of the year, just because you don't like me...").

On the plus side of this complaining about having a cold (yet another reason why you should only have them when it's cold out!), I have been doing lots more writing. Being lazy agrees with me, apparently. I can only take so much of it, though, before I start getting restless and wanting to DO SOMETHING besides sit on the couch all day!

It doesn't help that school has just started; I have to be studying while all my brain wants to do is imagine things. Imagination doesn't help me much with math :P

So...any suggestions on what I should be writing? Besides, you know, the blog (yes, I know this is my second post today, but the other one was so short...). No one gave me feedback on yesterday's post which means *drumroll* ahem, I said, *DRUM ROLL!*

*bdbdbdbdbdbdb*

Which means that the blog will stay exactly how it is: random, slightly helpful, and in need of much tweaking. But I'm blaming it on you, my non-existent readers. And if you don't like it, why don't you tell me?? I'd be very happy to know.

Of course, since my emotions and personality tend to change on a daily and sometimes hourly basis, the blog may turn out to be hot pink tomorrow. Or even filled with woodchips. After all, it IS subject to my imagination...

God Gave Me You :)

Have you ever heard the song "God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes?? It's a great song. It's how I feel about all of my friends - God gave me you guys to go through life with, and I don't know what I'd do without you :)

If you have people close to you that you love and you don't think you could ever live without, please tell them. Tell them that you care. Tell them they mean the world to you.

Because it's true.

And if someone is reading this who has never been told that someone really loves them, then here you have it: God loves you.

Don't wait for them to be the first to say it. You can never sincerely say "I love you" too many times!!! If someone loved you, wouldn't you want to know?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Changes

I keep changing the blog's "image"; I really can't decide what I'd like to do with it. And I suppose that that stems from the fact that this blog doesn't have a unifying purpose - it just is. I randomly talk about my life and what God is teaching me.

But I could go in a bunch of new directions. Like I could add stuff:

* cooking ideas (always fun...)
* writing exercises/tips/updates/samples of my own work
* random media reviews
* photography

Or I could just generalize the whole blog into one thing:

* spiritual
* writing/literature-related
* inspirational
* my hobbies

Or...well, I'm pretty much out of ideas after that. And I must say, would someone PLEASE help me out with this?! Ideas are helpful - even voting on the ones I listed would be awesome!

But then again, I'm doubtful that anybody's really reading all of this...

If this were a facebook post, I would tag all of my friends so I could make them comment :)

Monday, August 23, 2010

scrawling on the pages of life :)

Yesterday I did something random without meaning to :) I stayed up till midnight, chatting online. Which, just so you know, is not my normal practice :P. Although, I do love staying up late! Being a night-owl is what I do best.
I started a conversation with the main characters of my current unfinished novel (all my novels are unfinished at this point) today :). It's helpful, fun, random - it reminds me of being a little kid and conversing with my imaginary friends, only the focus is on the "friend" instead of me.
The whole "little kid" thing is joke. Who am I fooling? (Probably no one. xD) I still have imaginary friends and adventures when I'm alone in my bedroom. I still color with crayons occasionally. Adulthood? What's that? I'm just starting the second stage of being a kid: trying to tell the world it's okay to still goof-off when you want to =)
Anyway, back to my unfinished novels. Or rather, the conversations I have with them. Sometimes I feel like the stories are writing themselves (those are the times I feel like a real writer)! I'm just the tool, typing away on my laptop, shaping the words and adding punctuations, as my characters yell at me to type faster and pay more attention. Which I usually don't do, because I get side-tracked.
I know it's not a very nice thing to just halt your characters right in the middle of whatever they're doing, but my life kind of takes priority over theirs. But I use my characters, because I need them for, eh, recreational purposes (haha) and to make my mark on the world (which may never happen; I suppose I'll come to terms with that gradually).
I made french toast for breakfast this morning. Note: I need to practice cooking more. Adding it to my mental list...

And then, at the end of this babble about myself and what I'm doing, here's a reminder (mostly for myself) to not focus on self: "Do not love the world or the things in the world...for this world is passing away, and everything in it."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Random Days of Dreams

I am the Princess of Random :) Did you know that?

So I found this blog called "A Dream Day" (look for Reimena Ashel Yee under the blogs I'm following), and I was, shall we say "inspired," by it :) Not the blog, exactly, but the idea behind it.

This girl has undertaken an adventure to make her life exciting. I have God, so I'm already on one exciting and glorious adventure! But I love random things, and doing creative things, so...

Every day, I'm gonna try to do something that I have dreamed about doing (not literally dreamed in sleep - my dreams are way to weird for that (: )! Like wearing something crazy, waking up before the dawn and sitting in the quiet stillness, randomly talking to strangers, yelling joyful phrases in the middle of a bustling city...

You get the idea :) should be interesting! Now, what should I do today?

Friday, August 20, 2010

I Have the Right...

Maybe it's just me who has this problem, but have you ever started to get into the mode where you have "rights"? I have the right to this and that because I'm a...(human being, child of God, etc.)

But we don't have the right to demand anything from either God or man.

Romans 12:1-3
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith."

I Corinthians 6:19-20
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."

I Corinthians 10:31
"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

First of all, we are to be "living sacrifices" to God - our whole lives are offered up to Him (or should be) - because it is our reasonable service. Secondly, we are not our own.

The whole Bible is full of that: we have been bought by Jesus' blood, we are created by God, we are slaves either to sin or to God. That leaves us no room for bargaining and whining and demanding.

And the most important of all...we are alive on this earth to bring glory to God.

What does this mean?? Well, it means a lot of things (which I'm not going to go into right now since this isn't a book or anything - feel free to read Jon Piper's Don't Waste Your Life, it's an amazing book), but what I am focusing on today is the fact that it means nothing I do should be directly for me.

So I wander downstairs and start complaining about breakfast (or lack thereof...), and this brings absolutely no glory to God whatsoever. We are His representatives in this world.

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven."

Back to square one =/

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Surreality of Birthdays

What is a birthday?



the sugar, the diva-ness - getting your way?






your wildest dreams come true?






getting what you love most in life?





yourself, staring back at you, slightly changed?



or is it that inevitable place in your life, the one that you get road signs for every now and again? you can't stop driving; that's life. but could you, perhaps, turn down a different road?

no matter where you turn, the things that must come to pass will still come to pass.

so happy birthday to all - and to me ;)

wish it away if you dare
blow out the candles -
you don't really care
once a year it comes around
every year it makes a different sound
happy birthday

Saturday, August 14, 2010

no longer me

Take all of me.

I must be crucified with Christ; this is the only way that He can then live in me.

Mold me to Your wishes.