I'm in complete turmoil at the moment. Isn't it odd to have peace and happiness as the same time that your heart is bleeding and hurting? I think so. Apparently, my heart doesn't, though.
I feel the utter need to talk to someone about it all and in the absence of a friend, I'm turning to you, my dear bloggers. My family is around me but having five brothers kind of shuts down any talk about the emotional/heart crap. (Er, I don't mean crap. It's serious business, serious enough to hurt, but I still hate myself for the roller coaster I'm always on.)
God is waiting for me to come and talk with Him, I think. Rrrgh. But I don't want to! Another emotion going on here, I suppose. It's not about what I want. At least, it shouldn't be.
Can you tell I'm tired? Yeah, just a bit.
<3 Au Revoir <3
3 comments:
Caitlin dear, you're quite normal, be assured. I can't tell you countless times where I'm hurting and I feel like there's no one there for me to run to. And then I feel like I SHOULD be going to God, but God doesn't seem to quite be what I want. But you know that's wrong. And you feel frustrated at yourself for doubting. Been there, done that. Run to Him anyway my friend. Feelings come after the action. And remember, you can always talk to me!!! (haha I loooove to talk :P) Can't wait to see you Tuesday!!!
As soon as I read this I rushed off to gtalk to see if you were online so I could yell "Friend! I am HERE!!" :)
And, Cassie pretty much summed up everything I was about to say. ;)
I've been feeling nearly the same way lately, very..exasperated with life. Granted, mostly for selfish reasons...but it's still frustrating.
I wanted to chat with you at church today (not about anything in particular..haha!) but you were in the library meeting, and then we left. :(
Thank you both so much!!! Yes, I know you guys are there, but sometimes I just don't want to burden people with my issues...especially when I feel like they're totally juvenile ;) But I love you both and I'm so glad to have to as friends <3 I did end up going to God, but it wasn't until Sunday. Church was really nice even tho I was exhausted.
(Cassie, do I have your email? I'm not entirely sure that I do.)
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