Shredder Girl, Episode 4: maybe I should stop writing long titles like this...

There are some things that you just can't describe. The first time you hear birds chirp in the spring. The smell of home after a long journey away. The way it feels to ride a rollercoaster. So many things in life that just seem to be beyond words.

Riding a mountain is one of those things. People keep asking me what makes Colorado different, or why it's so amazing so far. Honestly, I can give them reasons, but I can't actually describe it. The word I keep using is breathless.

I've probably used that word over 20 times since moving here. But I seriously do feel breathless - partially because of the high altitude, which makes even walking downstairs become a breathless moment, and partially because of the fact that this place is so beyond what I could ever imagine.

But God is speaking to me through the awe and the breathlessness. He's showing me that it's good that I realize my own weakness. That I need to be humble.

Have you ever watched Inception? It's an amazing movie that kind of rips apart your idea of dreams, time, and...ideas. One of those movies that you can't zone out while you watch it or you'll miss everything. I kind of adore those types of movies, the ones that make you cock your head and go, "Wait...what?"

Anyway, I did have a point in bringing up that movie. There's a scene in the movie that just keeps coming to me. Every time I look at the mountains and I can't breathe because they're real. Every time I realize that I work and live on this mountain and there's no way I deserve it, and no way I'm a good enough rider to be here. Each time, this line just hits me like a well-placed piece of bacon:

"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

And I smile when I think of it because it's like words straight from God. He's the one who put me here. He's saying, "Stop thinking about your weaknesses. I am strong. That is all you need to know. I put you here to play, laugh, enjoy, and work - in My name. Don't be afraid to dream bigger than you ever have before."

I also laugh when these words come to mind, because the scene in the movie is one where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is shooting at bad guys with a little machine gun (or something), and Tom Hardy, broad and masculine, steps up with a rocket launcher and snidely remarks, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

So if you're struggling in the pits or living high off the hog (don't make fun of my usage of cliches), remember that God has plans bigger than even your imagination can see. His plans, thoughts, words, and ways are so much higher and bigger and crazier than ours! Don't trap yourself by your own boundaries; be freed to follow this crazy God of ours.

Isaiah 55:8-9
Psalm 61:2

Don't be afraid to let yourself be breathless...even if that means risking your life. 

[yournamehere]

Names. We all have one. One that our parents gave us. One that we get just by having parents. Nicknames that follow us around. Names we wish people would forget were associated with us. Words that aren't even names, but ones that somehow seem to stick to us, things like hard-working, drop-dead gorgeous, lazy, a party-er, flirtatious, quiet, and a million others adjectives both good and bad. We judge others by their names and then we add more names to them.

Basically, the whole world is constantly identifying others while at the same time seeking to proclaim their own identity. Every single person in the world has an identity. Is it self-made, or just a picture that others have painted for you?

IDENTITY.

We tend to figure out our identity in a very backward way. The things we wear, the way we look, our bodies and our expressions and our physical traits...these things paint a picture of us. But that is entirely opposite of how identity is really determined.

Our identity is determined by who we are on the inside. This body is flesh, and flesh only. Made from the dust of the earth. Polished with some soap and a dash of brightly colored fabrics. That identity bleeds into our physical appearance in little ways.

But these bodies that we live in? They are passing shadows, faint glimmers of beauty, fragile as a dandelion gone to seed.

Photo found on Google images

Sometimes it is hard for me to remember that. My flesh is so strong. Its desires pull at me, jerking me back and forth all over the board. I listen to my flesh because...I think that it is me. I think that my blond hair and grey/blue/green eyes are mine. I think that my skinny little body is all mine to own and keep forever. I even kind of like my feet (don't tell anyone). 

For me to say "no" to my body -- when it's hungry or thirsty, tired or fidgety, weak or strong -- seems like a preposterous idea. Why would I even want to do that? 

I am asking God to show me the difference. The difference between me (my soul) and my body (the fleshly cage in which I live). 

I watched The Host for the first time tonight. I read the book a few months ago and it blew me away with its intense insight into the battle between soul and body. I posted about it here.

From The Host; picture from Pinterest

The movie was, of course, not nearly as good as the book. (I'm pretty sure that that's my favorite line. Get used to hearing it.)

But again, I was struck by the way souls and bodies were shown as completely separate concepts. Which, they are! How crazy is it that I know this to be true and yet I don't live it as truth. I don't act like I believe it.

From The Host; picture from Pinterest

The world is beautiful and there is magic in it. But the bigger magic is found within us. God chose to make us "in His image" -- we are a miracle fashioned by His very words to be like Him.

And then He did something even crazier. He died so that we might die to our flesh in Him. That our souls might have power over our flesh. And that He might take His Spirit (the very Spirit of God!) and anoint us with Him, as a present. We have the Holy Spirit living within.

My flesh fights this Spirit with its whole being.

It is a war of the very deepest kind.

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." ~Romans 13:14

"Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." ~ Romans 5:16-17

{Braveheart}

I watched Braveheart for the first time last night. I'd seen bits and pieces of it before, but never the whole thing. Never before heard the words that William Wallace spoke resounding in my head. Never before felt the emotions playing across his face...and Murron's...and Isabelle's...and Robert the Bruce's...



This is one of the opening scenes...as far as I'm concerned, it's one of the most powerful. Something about the way neither William or Murron speak. It's just a connection between two children <3

Braveheart is a tale of {LOVE}


















A tale of {WAR}


























But mostly...Braveheart is about {FREEDOM} You see it in Mel Gibson's face, that desire for freedom reflected in his eyes (he plays William Wallace, in case you didn't know).



"They may take our lives - but they will never take our FREEDOM!"

William says many things that cut to the heart.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives."

"I *am* William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men... and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?"

Scottish soldier: Fight? Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take...OUR FREEDOM!"

Robert the Bruce: Lands, titles, men, power, nothing.
Robert's Father: Nothing?
Robert the Bruce: I have nothing. Men fight for me because if they do not, I throw them off my land and I starve their wives and their children. Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace, and he fights for something that I never had. And I took it from him, when I betrayed him. I saw it in his face on the battlefield and it's tearing me apart.
Robert's Father: All men betray. All lose heart.
Robert the Bruce: I don't want to lose heart!! I want to believe as he does.

A note on Princess Isabelle. I really liked her. She fought for freedom in her own way. And this line was delivered with womanly strength: "The king will be dead in a month and his son is a weakling. Who do you think will rule this kingdom?"

For those of you who have not seen Braveheart, I won't spoil the ending or storyline. I'm a girl and I'm not into gory/bloody battles, but this one was decent; the tale was beautiful and heartrending, uplifting...yada yada yada...But really though, I did love it:) And I would encourage you to watch it.

Oh, wait...there are some cuss words (gahhh). And a few extremely inappropriate scenes (two to be precise). They are easily skipped/fast-forwarded though.