I changed my blog. Again.
Change is so...so...agh. It's late. I just posted something long and thoughtful, so please scroll down and take a look at my inky scrawls:) There are ink blots and wrinkles and spelling mistakes all over the place. (I know you're being nice and pretending not to see them, but they are there, hiding underneath the cyberspace screen. A journal is meant to be full of mistakes anyway. And this one certainly is.)
Bon appetit! That can apply to reading, too, right?
_Caitlin_
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I AM NUMBER FOUR
I just got back from watching I AM NUMBER FOUR at the theater. It wasn’t quite what I expected (at first, the whole alien thing upset me – I’m not a big fan of alien-related stories *groans*). But I like surprises. And the characters in this movie were very…eh, enviable to me.
Yeah. Not going to go into that right now.
But one thing that really came across in that movie is the whole feeling of other-worldliness. It’s a prevalent theme in media today. Supernatural, paranormal, inhuman, mythical, alien – all words that describe this feeling inside that we need something outside of our “normal, ordinary lives.”
We all want to be something…more…than what we are. It’s a part of who we are. To remedy this desire, we search for the things in nature that seem to be beyond us – or at least beyond our words – things that are outside of our control. Inversely, we sometimes go the opposite direction and do everything humanly possible to be in control: we up our speed, strength, talents, intelligence, and reflexes till we seem invincible.
But we’re not.
So for those of us who are lazy and don’t know how to achieve this supernatural-ness, we watch great movies and read awesome books that allow us, for a few hours, to become supernatural. We can fly, we can understand our friends completely, we can rise above all obstacles, we can shoot rays of light from our fingers or pull fantastical stunts or see the future or become fireproof. It’s quite the experience.
For me, there’s a slightly deeper desire…beyond the yearning for impossible beauty or strength or intuition…it’s a desire to be my own person. Those characters are so well-crafted that you don’t just see their faces and their clothes; you see their persona. They have a little life that’s completely unique to themselves. And I’ve never really had that.
I’m more of a mixture of things. I don’t stick with the same thing for very long – I like to bounce around and dabble in – well – everything. (cough.) My most defining characteristic is that I laugh easily and loudly. Seriously.
So the girl in I AM NUMBER FOUR was so spectacular to me. She was ordinary (in a way) but she had this image. Her image was a photographer.
Her room was plastered with photos, her decorations were photographs, cameras, and film. She carried a camera everywhere, snapping photos every ten seconds or so. She had a blog/website full of interesting pictures. That camera was what she put her life into.
She did other things besides take pictures, she still paid attention to how she dressed, and she had a family life. But that camera was so her. I loved that.
Anyway, I’m not trying to knock myself, cause I hate it when people do that. (Okay, maybe I was a little, but it’s okay to feel slightly insignificant when you find someone that you think is a role model, okay? :P) I just really want the spectacular right now. I want to be…known for who I am. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not really, entirely, truly myself.
And that sounds completely ridiculous. Sigh.
But that yearning we all have is because of the void of God. He’s the supernatural we all need and want! He’s the defining force that gives us our identity. Fame, money, pleasure, material possessions, fashion, college degree – none of that really defines us. I mean, who are we, but God’s creation? What do we have that He hasn’t given to us?
So right now I’m longing to “create” myself anew and become what I think is a cool person (huh, sounds fun, doesn’t it?). Yet I think to what the Bible says…what we are through Jesus’ death on the cross…we are all new creations. Born again. Washed clean. Ready to start over.
This life that I want so much to create…He’s trying to create it for me. But I keep getting in the way. Buying a camera isn’t going to set the stage for an amazing life. But following Him is.
_Caitlin_
Yeah. Not going to go into that right now.
But one thing that really came across in that movie is the whole feeling of other-worldliness. It’s a prevalent theme in media today. Supernatural, paranormal, inhuman, mythical, alien – all words that describe this feeling inside that we need something outside of our “normal, ordinary lives.”
We all want to be something…more…than what we are. It’s a part of who we are. To remedy this desire, we search for the things in nature that seem to be beyond us – or at least beyond our words – things that are outside of our control. Inversely, we sometimes go the opposite direction and do everything humanly possible to be in control: we up our speed, strength, talents, intelligence, and reflexes till we seem invincible.
But we’re not.
So for those of us who are lazy and don’t know how to achieve this supernatural-ness, we watch great movies and read awesome books that allow us, for a few hours, to become supernatural. We can fly, we can understand our friends completely, we can rise above all obstacles, we can shoot rays of light from our fingers or pull fantastical stunts or see the future or become fireproof. It’s quite the experience.
For me, there’s a slightly deeper desire…beyond the yearning for impossible beauty or strength or intuition…it’s a desire to be my own person. Those characters are so well-crafted that you don’t just see their faces and their clothes; you see their persona. They have a little life that’s completely unique to themselves. And I’ve never really had that.
I’m more of a mixture of things. I don’t stick with the same thing for very long – I like to bounce around and dabble in – well – everything. (cough.) My most defining characteristic is that I laugh easily and loudly. Seriously.
So the girl in I AM NUMBER FOUR was so spectacular to me. She was ordinary (in a way) but she had this image. Her image was a photographer.
Her room was plastered with photos, her decorations were photographs, cameras, and film. She carried a camera everywhere, snapping photos every ten seconds or so. She had a blog/website full of interesting pictures. That camera was what she put her life into.
She did other things besides take pictures, she still paid attention to how she dressed, and she had a family life. But that camera was so her. I loved that.
Anyway, I’m not trying to knock myself, cause I hate it when people do that. (Okay, maybe I was a little, but it’s okay to feel slightly insignificant when you find someone that you think is a role model, okay? :P) I just really want the spectacular right now. I want to be…known for who I am. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not really, entirely, truly myself.
And that sounds completely ridiculous. Sigh.
But that yearning we all have is because of the void of God. He’s the supernatural we all need and want! He’s the defining force that gives us our identity. Fame, money, pleasure, material possessions, fashion, college degree – none of that really defines us. I mean, who are we, but God’s creation? What do we have that He hasn’t given to us?
So right now I’m longing to “create” myself anew and become what I think is a cool person (huh, sounds fun, doesn’t it?). Yet I think to what the Bible says…what we are through Jesus’ death on the cross…we are all new creations. Born again. Washed clean. Ready to start over.
This life that I want so much to create…He’s trying to create it for me. But I keep getting in the way. Buying a camera isn’t going to set the stage for an amazing life. But following Him is.
_Caitlin_
Monday, May 16, 2011
Corn
Let's meditate on corn for a moment, shall we? Corn is a wonderful, tasty thing. It grows from the ground and we pick it and we eat it and we save it and it is YELLOW like sunshine!!
A couple things I'd like to note about corn though.
1. It starts out as a little seed. There could be thousands of them sitting in a bucket, and they'd all look virtually the same. So small...and yet so ready to burst into life.
2. Those little seeds get a whole lot bigger. Knee high by the Fourth of July and all that. Predictable, maybe, but nonetheless wonderful to see corn grow.
3. There's a certain type of corn that is perfect for making popcorn. [And I loooove popcorn! <3] The seeds all start out the same - looking the same, reacting the same - but with the right amount of heat, they start to burst open and reveal their fluffy little insides.
Now, we all known what a kernel of popcorn looks like. It's not that hard to distinguish. But have you ever really looked at those kernels? Each one is different!!!
I don't know, I was eating day-old popcorn today, and I sort of had a "corn-epiphany." {Don't go knocking epiphanies :P} I just thought, hey, we're all like those corn kernels. We're all the same, really - human bodies, faces, arms, legs, the general amount of body parts - but when the heat is applied, when the pressure is on, we just sort of pop...and you see who we really are.
This is not a fool-proof theory or anything. I'm no psychologist. Which reminds me: I was reading about psychology today. Oops. Guess that's where this came from. Isn't that sad? I didn't just randomly decide to start thinking deeply...lol.
And that is the end of my corn meditation. Hope you enjoyed the little journey:) And remember: you can be a big, puffy kernel of popcorn, one that just had to burst open...or you could be one of those kernels that barely opened at all...and those kind don't taster very nice.
Heh heh =]
A couple things I'd like to note about corn though.
1. It starts out as a little seed. There could be thousands of them sitting in a bucket, and they'd all look virtually the same. So small...and yet so ready to burst into life.
2. Those little seeds get a whole lot bigger. Knee high by the Fourth of July and all that. Predictable, maybe, but nonetheless wonderful to see corn grow.
3. There's a certain type of corn that is perfect for making popcorn. [And I loooove popcorn! <3] The seeds all start out the same - looking the same, reacting the same - but with the right amount of heat, they start to burst open and reveal their fluffy little insides.
Now, we all known what a kernel of popcorn looks like. It's not that hard to distinguish. But have you ever really looked at those kernels? Each one is different!!!
I don't know, I was eating day-old popcorn today, and I sort of had a "corn-epiphany." {Don't go knocking epiphanies :P} I just thought, hey, we're all like those corn kernels. We're all the same, really - human bodies, faces, arms, legs, the general amount of body parts - but when the heat is applied, when the pressure is on, we just sort of pop...and you see who we really are.
This is not a fool-proof theory or anything. I'm no psychologist. Which reminds me: I was reading about psychology today. Oops. Guess that's where this came from. Isn't that sad? I didn't just randomly decide to start thinking deeply...lol.
And that is the end of my corn meditation. Hope you enjoyed the little journey:) And remember: you can be a big, puffy kernel of popcorn, one that just had to burst open...or you could be one of those kernels that barely opened at all...and those kind don't taster very nice.
Heh heh =]
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